First, I want to thank Constantine, Kathy and even Alyse for the time I spent with all of you. You did try your best (I think) even if I didn’t on my end. I do feel like I have greatly advanced and increased my skills via my time with AO, and through all of your help and encouragement. I may not have shown my appreciation nearly as much as I feel I owe, and that is wrong of me. I do value my time with you and with AO and would not ever trade my past time with you and AO for the same amount of time at a regular job. I just want you each to know that first, before I go on.
I think first that there is no one reason why I feel it is time to go. Not completely attributable to the money, the required work, the training, or even any of you, through what you say or whatever you did. I believe it is a great combination of all of those, plus lots of other things. A second reason is just that I believe I need to move on. I have spent 6-8-10 great months with AO this time around and I have learned a lot of things, and increased some skills that I already had, like just general speaking, a little math or the speech. After all that time and learning, friendship making, and so on, I just feel it is time to move on to the next thing in my life. The last and maybe main reason is that I am just getting tired. After these 8ish months, I am just losing the mental and somewhat physical stamina to continue doing all that I am doing, even in the days or weeks that not much is required of me. I also believe it’s a tired that could not and cannot be fixed by a week-two weeks or a month or two off. I just need to stop.
I want to say that I know I did say that I was going to create a plan for this, including options to stay, to leave, maybe a combination of those, and maybe even some other options. I really thought about these things this past week, and like I said, came to this conclusion. The reason for doing it this way is because, regrettably, I feel like this is the way it would have turned out anyway. After thinking about these things, I do not now see making up that plan, and deciding via holistic management or pros vs cons (or something else), a different outcome, other than this one. So, I partially think this will just save a lot of time, mine and yours.
I also want to say, I do want to stay in touch with all of you, and of course AO. I am very willing (if my future schedule allows) to work the Athens’ farmers market, package stuff Tuesday, or maybe even go up to the Hills market in Columbus, if Constantine is overloaded with other necessary work. If there is a new intern that needs some training, I will be willing (again, schedule allowing) to come in for a day to help. I do not want at all to turn by back on AO, or anything like that. My experience with AO is way to good for that. I certainly may even in the future decide that I should return, if possible, to AO.
Again, I thank each of you for everything that you have done with/for me, your patience with me and so on. I want these next two weeks to go as smoothly as possible, without any problems. I want to leave with no personal problems between any of us, and on the best of terms possible.
Thank you for these great fun and learning filled months!
First comment, I noticed (via a comment from Constantine to me) that I seems that I may not have clearly said something in this post, the part about me helping sometimes if he needs me. Constantine thought that I meant I would continue to do the farmers market, Tuesday packaging etc, despite leaving AO. I meant (regrettably) that if he needs help because he is otherwise incapacitated (i.e., sick, car trouble etc), and if he (or Kathy) is able to contact me the day before, and my schedule allows, I would be willing to help out for the day.
Secondly, Constantine brought up the point of unforeseen consequences of leaving AO. The only one I can think of right now is my ability to leave early. Both Constantine and Kathy (if I’m helping her with something) have been really gracious about me sometimes (more often than not) having to leave early, either at noon to mow, or a little later so I can cook dinner. I don’t think I have really appreciated that until now. I know that whatever business/company I go to next, the manager/boss is not going to be nearly, if at all, as willing to let me go before my shift (or whatever) is up. 8-5 will mean 8-5. Again, I don’t think I have even really thanked either of you for that ability, or willingness to let me do so. So, thank you!
I have thought of some more unforeseen consequences. The first is no more market, for me. I did see that and that is not so much the problem, although I will miss doing it. The main thing I thought of was that I won’t be able to see all the people I have met and made friends with in the past months pretty much any more at all. The farmer’s market is the only time I got/get to see most of those people, so no more market means I don’t see friends as much, if at all. Along with that, there is also ACEnet and all those people I got to know real well, like all the Crumbs guys (and girls). No more ACEnet, no more of them. I do believe however that I will make new friends wherever I go next in my life, next job situation, college, or whatever.
The other one that I thought of is a little different. I won’t be able take partake of Constantine’s generosity. I will not be able to take home a bag of chips from the market, a wedge of cheese, maybe the occasional Snowville milk, or that kind of thing. Also lunch. Lunch at Broadwell or at the market. Not many other places offer free/include lunch in their operation. Each of those have been a great plus to me in my time here, and I will miss them when I am gone. I also again don’t believe I really thanked Constantine in any greatness for those things, so thank you so much!